Well, she had a few tantrums today. Sheesh. But anyway, Beth you asked what I was doing different, since I mentioned it.
This past week when she's had a tantrum, she's just went straight to her room and I didn't go in to help her calm down. I just told her is she was going to scream she had to go to her room to calm down. She cried for about a half hour or so each time, but she did manage to stop by herself.
I would walk
over to her door after she stopped screaming and ask if she was ready to talk to me, or something like that (can mommy come in?) and if she started yelling
again I walked away and said I would come back when she wasn't yelling.
Now all this is after I have spent the last few weeks working with her when I *was* going in to calm her down, I would tell her to count to ten and take a couple deep breaths... she would never do that, and I would end up having to sing to her. Even when I helped her calm down over the last two weeks, I would tell her I was proud of her for calming down and counting to ten, yadda yadda, just to emphasize it.
But I figure I gave her "the tools" she needed to calm down and I would test it this week by not helping her. So when she would calm down even after all her screaming and stuff I would again tell her she did a good job calming down without my help, etc. After she calms down, she always apologizes to me, without me asking. She will say "I'm sorry for yelling mommy."
Well today she had three tantrums... her behavior seems to be worse on weekends because her daddy upsets the way things operate. Not in a bad way, but in a way she is not used to, and he doesn't handle her the way I do. I don't like to criticize him, she is a challenge to us all, so I just try to step in and "fix" what I can when I can without making dh feel bad.
Today her first tantrum was because I yelled at her
She said she was hungry, it was near lunchtime and we were putting in a pizza. 30 mins in the oven. So
for 30 mins straight she asked "is the pizza ready NOW?!" and I swear she asked it every 15 seconds for that whole time. I was ignoring her and doing
fine, but then the pizza was done, and she asked and I said "yes, it's ready" and her daddy was cutting the pizza... and she started back up with
the question AGAIN and after another 10 times I just yelled "GABRIELLE!" and she of course fell apart, bawling. 
She is such a little ball of emotions and then she verbalizes EVERYthing... so she says immediately "I don't want to eat anymore! I don't want dinner! I want to go to my room! I want to go to bed! I want to go to grandma's house!" So while she was screaming, dh took her to her room, and poor thing asked for a lullaby... and I went in to apologize (sort of, I was still annoyed!) and kicked him out nicely and shut the door. Since I upset her she just wanted to be reconciled I guess, she wasn't mad at me, I asked her if she needed a lullaby? She told me she didn't want to eat anymore and wanted to run away And I said (calmly) "You want to run away because mommy yelled at you? You yell at me all the time, and I don't run away!" And she
just started counting to ten out of the blue and took two deep breaths and said "Can I go eat now?" 
So that worked out amazingly well, I think she only cried for 5 mins and snapped herself out of it. I was happy and just went with it.
Later on in the day she tantrumed for 10 mins because dh was playing the wii fit and he had kept messing up the ski jump and turning into a snowball, and she GOT MAD when he did it right finally because she wanted to see him turn into a snowball
The third tantrum was because she fell asleep in the car and was woken up, so she is always in a crap mood when that happens... and to distract her from the crap mood, I took her out front to water the plants, which is like a first! She's been obsessing over wanting to water the plants and so since it is hot as Hades here and dry, and the plants are dying I figured, hey good idea
Well I was waiting for someone to come over, they were on their way and I had to go inside to get some things ready (giving away stuff on freecycle) and I asked dh to watch her while I did so... I told him if he thought she was watering somewhere too much, just have her move to another plant (Um telling him basically to not f-k up the status quo... she was happy!!!) He decided after about 4 mins to tell her she was done, and so that set her off... and it was JUST WONDERFUL having her tantrum for the next however long it was while I went thru the garage and a couple places in the house to give stuff to this lady, while she listened to Gabby in her room screaming WATER WATER WATER over again. Geez, I expect CPS to show up now.
I told the lady what the deal was but I am sure
it didn't look too good!
When the lady left, I did go back and ask G if she was calm and we could talk, etc, and I had to walk away a couple times. But she did calm down by herself again, but it was a long long time.
So anyway, it's not really anything earth shattering for other mommas I don't think, but since she's never been able to calm down by herself, this is progress for us. I also have been bringing up some of the tv shows we watch, yo gabba gabba and ni hao kai lan... they have lessons/songs on calming down. So the one time I said to her "remember tolee has to learn how to calm down" and my little goof is yelling at me "no!!! Rintu!!!!" because it is the other character Rintu who has to calm down, not Tolee. But it distracted her enough that first time to get her to calm down some 
I am just glad she is making some progress although it is small, it is something. I hope it continues.
This past week when she's had a tantrum, she's just went straight to her room and I didn't go in to help her calm down. I just told her is she was going to scream she had to go to her room to calm down. She cried for about a half hour or so each time, but she did manage to stop by herself.
I would walk
over to her door after she stopped screaming and ask if she was ready to talk to me, or something like that (can mommy come in?) and if she started yelling
again I walked away and said I would come back when she wasn't yelling.
Now all this is after I have spent the last few weeks working with her when I *was* going in to calm her down, I would tell her to count to ten and take a couple deep breaths... she would never do that, and I would end up having to sing to her. Even when I helped her calm down over the last two weeks, I would tell her I was proud of her for calming down and counting to ten, yadda yadda, just to emphasize it.
But I figure I gave her "the tools" she needed to calm down and I would test it this week by not helping her. So when she would calm down even after all her screaming and stuff I would again tell her she did a good job calming down without my help, etc. After she calms down, she always apologizes to me, without me asking. She will say "I'm sorry for yelling mommy."
Well today she had three tantrums... her behavior seems to be worse on weekends because her daddy upsets the way things operate. Not in a bad way, but in a way she is not used to, and he doesn't handle her the way I do. I don't like to criticize him, she is a challenge to us all, so I just try to step in and "fix" what I can when I can without making dh feel bad.
Today her first tantrum was because I yelled at her
She said she was hungry, it was near lunchtime and we were putting in a pizza. 30 mins in the oven. So
for 30 mins straight she asked "is the pizza ready NOW?!" and I swear she asked it every 15 seconds for that whole time. I was ignoring her and doing
fine, but then the pizza was done, and she asked and I said "yes, it's ready" and her daddy was cutting the pizza... and she started back up with
the question AGAIN and after another 10 times I just yelled "GABRIELLE!" and she of course fell apart, bawling.
She is such a little ball of emotions and then she verbalizes EVERYthing... so she says immediately "I don't want to eat anymore! I don't want dinner! I want to go to my room! I want to go to bed! I want to go to grandma's house!" So while she was screaming, dh took her to her room, and poor thing asked for a lullaby... and I went in to apologize (sort of, I was still annoyed!) and kicked him out nicely and shut the door. Since I upset her she just wanted to be reconciled I guess, she wasn't mad at me, I asked her if she needed a lullaby? She told me she didn't want to eat anymore and wanted to run away
And I said (calmly) "You want to run away because mommy yelled at you? You yell at me all the time, and I don't run away!" And she
just started counting to ten out of the blue and took two deep breaths and said "Can I go eat now?"
So that worked out amazingly well, I think she only cried for 5 mins and snapped herself out of it. I was happy and just went with it.
Later on in the day she tantrumed for 10 mins because dh was playing the wii fit and he had kept messing up the ski jump and turning into a snowball, and she GOT MAD when he did it right finally because she wanted to see him turn into a snowball
The third tantrum was because she fell asleep in the car and was woken up, so she is always in a crap mood when that happens... and to distract her from the crap mood, I took her out front to water the plants, which is like a first! She's been obsessing over wanting to water the plants and so since it is hot as Hades here and dry, and the plants are dying I figured, hey good idea
Well I was waiting for someone to come over, they were on their way and I had to go inside to get some things ready (giving away stuff on freecycle) and I asked dh to watch her while I did so... I told him if he thought she was watering somewhere too much, just have her move to another plant (Um telling him basically to not f-k up the status quo... she was happy!!!) He decided after about 4 mins to tell her she was done, and so that set her off... and it was JUST WONDERFUL having her tantrum for the next however long it was while I went thru the garage and a couple places in the house to give stuff to this lady, while she listened to Gabby in her room screaming WATER WATER WATER over again. Geez, I expect CPS to show up now.
I told the lady what the deal was but I am sure
it didn't look too good!
When the lady left, I did go back and ask G if she was calm and we could talk, etc, and I had to walk away a couple times. But she did calm down by herself again, but it was a long long time.
So anyway, it's not really anything earth shattering for other mommas I don't think, but since she's never been able to calm down by herself, this is progress for us. I also have been bringing up some of the tv shows we watch, yo gabba gabba and ni hao kai lan... they have lessons/songs on calming down. So the one time I said to her "remember tolee has to learn how to calm down" and my little goof is yelling at me "no!!! Rintu!!!!" because it is the other character Rintu who has to calm down, not Tolee.
But it distracted her enough that first time to get her to calm down some
I am just glad she is making some progress although it is small, it is something. I hope it continues.
